What is it about decision making, especially those that can be life-altering, that are so difficult? I mean, it’s not that diving off the deep end with no idea what is below is risky?
OK, so in reality, it is.
Generally I am content, happy even. Lately, I have been feeling something different. There is a restlessness in my soul. I feel as though God is preparing me for something new, something next, something greater than even I could imagine. The only problem is, I have absolutely no idea what that is. I have no idea where, why, how, who, what, when, etc etc etc that it is. So, there in lies my dilemma.
There are days that I think “X” or “Y” and then the next day it’s “A” or “B”. (I put the letters there because I’m not quite sure what any of those things truly are.) Most days I just put on a happy face and trudge forward. Lately, each and every day I have been feeling that there is something more. I think that God gives us periods of waiting where we have to trust in Him. I think it’s in those times that we can grow in the Lord extensively. He has given me a chance to dig into Him, to listen to HIm, to simply fall in love with Him. I am so thankful for this time in my life.
So, indecision or doubt? Is it doubt in God or doubt in myself. If it’s doubt in God, then I do not truly trust Him in His perfection. I think it’s doubt in myself, in my shortcomings, and in my insecurities. I think that this doubt in myself leads to the indecision. I am learning to not doubt myself, because the Lord created me for a purpose. He chose me for a specific time as this to trust in Him and wait. So, wait I shall!
But, in the meantime I will continue to pursue the Savior who first pursued me. I challenge you to do the same.
